The Bane of my Life
by wonderland98
Summary: Despite having a bane on his shoulders limiting him to do anything in life,Alec is an ordinary 18 year old boy. He has his good days and bad days. But he is stuck in one place and he doesn't know how to move from it. Then comes along another Bane in his English class but he is quite different to the other bane...will this one be able to pick him up and save him from being terminal.
1. Chapter 1

15/05/2014

***The Bane of my life* **

**_Hi this is my first fan fiction please R&R. All rights to Cassandra Clare! She owns the characters! I'm just a fan girl obsessed with Malec 3 Hope you like it! xx_**

# Chapter 1

A soft breeze blew through my window, it tingled over my whole body before it lightly brushed my face. I groaned; as I snarled myself more into the bed covers, and rolled over to preserve the what-was-left-over heat. I peered through the sea of white sheets as I tried to understand the blurred digits which flashed on my digital clock, my blue eyes focused and the numbers focused in my head. …7:30…"Shit"…

#

My feet screeched across the black tiled floor as I tore into the kitchen, my breath was ragged and I scrambled around rummaging through the cupboard searching for my 5 minuet saviour. Under the mess of single pieces of raw pasta and soup packets I felt the box, it sprang out as I grabbed it and slipped through my hands. Long, tanned, blood red finger painted hands snatched it in the spur of the moment and slammed it on the marble counter; bright green eyes glared into my orbs.

"7:50" My younger sister snapped at me as she stood head-to-head with me in her 6 inch heels, "What sort of time do you call this? We are supposed to be there at 8:00! We have been through this countless times Alec, you're the one who wanted to go there, and you're the one who begged mum and dad to stay! You can't wake up late and leave without breakfast!"

I opened my mouth to speak but she shook her head, whipping her high, black ponytail side-to-side, "Don't even think about calling these cornflakes on the go breakfast." She yelled as she waved the box clasped in her manicured fingers, "You know you can't rely on this, it's not healthy! Especially for you, if you can't look after yourself you miles awl stay at home."

I sighed then seized the box out of her hands, "I know, Jesus, Isabelle stop acting so bossy, just because mum and dad are not here doesn't mean you can tell me what to do, I woke up late, wow, big deal." I crammed the cereal into a chipped china bowl, poured the cows milk and spooned the cornflakes. Isabelle had gone red with anger, her pink plumped bottom lip trembled, and I internally waited for the big tantrum to burst out.

"What's with the constipated look?" My brother Jace sauntered in the room, his blonde long hair chopped at his shoulders shook, and his well-known smirk followed onto his face, "Oh right, of course its little Alecs feeding time…Come on Isabelle give him a break, he's older than us he can do stuff on his own" He leaned against the counter, his slender and well-built body hunched to the side as he peeled a banana.

"How can you say that? When he doesn't look after his own health or nutrition sensibly! Not even with what he has" She huffed, raised her hand to block both of our voices "Look I'm not having this talk now, wait until the evening when mum and dad get back, now MOVE…Or we will be later than yesterday!" With one more look at both of us she stalked out of the kitchen, her heels clattering against the floor.

Jace scoffed the rest of his banana, "Come on we better go before she starts screaming at us again, I don't know about you but I don't think she's angry just at you, I mean yeah she was a crazy psycho before but ever since her and Meliorn broke up she has been in her bitch mode 24/7."

I snorted and nodded my head, she had definitely turned from psycho to daemon, but I knew I would miss her when it was my time to go.

#

The car door edged open as I tried to avoid the shiny silver Volvo parked next to Isabelle's Mini Copper, thanks to her crazy parking skills, I managed to slide myself through the little space left.

ALICANTE INSTITUTE

The bold plaque hung of the tall, brick walls of my school, the letters shone as they caught the light of the sun. I smiled and admired the old, gothic architecture of the institute, it was one of the reasons I enjoyed coming here instead of boarded up at home. Even though I sounded like a nerd, just having a day with other people the same age as you was more inviting than watching re-runs of Teen Mom or Come dine with me.

A huge acre of green sloped down a hill in front of the school, daisies were dotted around the field which was marked with track lines, and you could see the opening to the woods that surrounded the grounds at the edge. My childhood consisted of spending most of my time here, from after school clubs to hanging out with mates in the woods. I treasured these memories more than anything, and it was part of the reason why I wanted to stay at school.

I took the stairs two-by-two to the entrance of the school; as the automatic doors swung open the sound of teenagers bombarded me and I caught the whiff of BO and body deodorant mixed together. I trudged along in a mindless daze, only half listening to my siblings as they lead me through the packed corridors.

"Yeah, the new English teacher is starting today… only 4 years older than us…well 2 years older for you two…Do you have him?...No I don't…how about you?...Alec?...ALEC!" Isabelle clicked her fingers in front of my face, I snapped out of my little bubble.

"Huh…What?" I stuttered.

"The new teacher? You taking AS English right? Do you have him?"

"Oh yeah…I do…"

"Lucky! I have to stick with the old geezer Mr. Malachi. Dammit…oh there's Clary and Simon."

Jace pounced towards our lockers, which were against the side of the wide hall, wrapped his arms round the red-headed, petite girl who was animatedly talking to the tall boy with dark brown curls and square rimmed glasses. The girl, Clary, jumped and laughed, her eyes lit up as she turned to embrace Jace.

I felt something in the pit of my stomach, yearn and want for love like that. I watched as Jace rested his head upon the sleek, shine of her head, to have someone hold me like that was on my list of my things I want to have/do in the time I had left.

Simon pushed his glasses up his nose and flashed a smile at Isabelle,

"Are you sure you can manage to walk in those, I mean last time you did almost trip over Hodge's cat". Isabelle shot a cold look at him,

"At least I'm not the one tripping over my own laces because I'm reading Naruto manga…"

They both scowled at each other, Clary peered through Jace's hands and we exchanged looks. The constant amount of bickering the two of them made was just so much evidence that they liked each other, everyone had noticed apart from them. It was just a matter of time…time

*bring*

The bell echoed around the school, I slammed my locker shut, stuffed my English folder and my copy of 'The Catcher in the Rye' in my bag.

"You're leaving now. Come on Alec it's the 5 minuet bell!" Jace rolled his eyes, "Oh yeah, I forgot, you looooovve English!"

I pouted at him, "At least I have something fascinating I'm interested in, all you are interested in is yourself and if Clary speaks to any boys!" Everyone laughed, this time it was Jace to pout,

"Go then", Isabelle said, "You need to give us a full report on the hot new teacher anyway!" She pushed me down the corridor. "Ok! Ok! Got it ma'am!" I waved goodbye and turned the corner eager to get to my one place that made me feel at ease.

#

The sweet smell of a tropical musk filled my nose, as I entered the classroom. The new teacher was already there faced away from me getting his notes ready, and to my surprise so was half the class. I could make out the teachers rough, black silk hair, as I slid into my seat at the front by the window, and Maia my one and only friend in the class looked up from her book she held in her hand and grinned.

Her brown eyes sparked with mischief,

"Ok I know I like English but right now I am just loving it so much more!" she smirked nodding at the young man's back at the front. I glanced at the back of the room,

"Why is everybody here on time? I mean like normally I'm the one here 5 minutes before class and everyone just packs in a minuet after class starts?!" I questioned, confused to all the excited chattering filling the room.

"Observe exhibit A writing on the board now and you will find your answer" She smirked, eyes trailed up and down as she checked the teacher out. I punched her arm,

"Hey he's a teacher! Why is everyone making a fuss! So what if he's 2 years older than us!" I mean I admit he has a great behind, but it wasn't right for students to be thinking like that about teachers! I distracted myself by reading my book but I felt Maia give me a look,

"You say that now but just wait until you see his face."

I was about to argue with her when the teacher spoke…his voice was a husky, angelic tone which captured me straight away, I stopped reading my book eyes wide as I stared at the words,

"My name is Mr. Bane, and I will be your teacher this year." He underlined his name on the board, I could hear the squeak of the chalk and his feet scuffled about, but my ears ringed.

"I'm excited to be teaching you, because this subject comes from my heart. And I hope I can get to know each of you and share my love for English with you."

I looked up inhaled an intake of breath, the gold tone of his smooth skin glowed, and I could make out his high cheekbones, I could tell he was part Asian but the most enchanting thing about him was his eyes, they were an unusual, green/yellow, cat-like eyes and they stared straight at me.

**_I will be willing to carry on if you guy like it and want me too im really excited to write this so please comment below x_**


	2. Chapter 2

# Chapter 2

**_Hey guys here is chapter 2 I hope you like it!_**

I concentrated on keeping calm, my hands were shaking. He kept my gaze and a small smile formed on his face. I was surprised; actually that was an understatement I felt like I had already died and gone to heaven. I mean I have had minor crushes on some boys like typical Mike Anderson who was the star football player, popular cool kid quite the opposite to plain old me. This guy just blew him out the air though, made people like Liam Hemsworth look like the average boy next door. Well to me anyway. People always say that gay people like the classic six pack hot guys that appear on Playboy magazines, not that I had seen any unless you count the time Jace and Isabelle bought me one to show me they accepted who I was, but I had always been the one to say that personality and who you are inside matters more than your physical looks. But here I was drooling over a teacher…a TEACHER for crying out loud. I shook my head and tried to clear it. _Just concentrate _I told myself, Mr. Bane had gone on and got everyone to start introducing themselves.

"I'm Emily and I like swimming because I enjoy being in the water"

Mr. Bane was wearing black trousers with a black shirt tucked in, his sleeves were rolled up and on his ringers he wore three gold rings. I tried not to look at him as he leaned back against the desk, arms folded listening to the students introducing themselves. It was too hard, so I turned to look out the window, tuning out I watched the clouds glide slowly across the sky.

"My name is Maia and I love running at night with my boyfriend because it makes me feel alive"

"Thank you darling…next…ahh…hello…" A hand waved in front of my face, Mr. Bane chuckled, "Right blue eyes your turn to introduce yourself"

I blushed and sent an apologetic smile to him, he was way too close "Um I'm Alec…"

"And what do you like Alec?" He almost sang out, and I could see his muscles strain as he scratched his neck causing me to blush even more,

"I like um English because um I enjoy getting lost in reading and um writing my own made up world." My words jumbled out, I was shocked that he understood what I said,

Mr. Bane smiled, "Now that wasn't so hard was it hon, well I'm glad to hear one person has a passion for English, I look forward to reading your work Alec."

He turned back to his desk and brought his notes out,

"Now too start off my rules for this class…I don't care about you're A levels…Well I do care about them I have a representation to uphold but, I'm not here to just teach you about what's just going to be in your exams…I'm here to teach you about English, about why we need it and why we have it. Life lessons I suppose you can call it. We will be studying books, poetry, snippets of English today in society. I mean I expect what all teachers expect, your co-operation and good grades to prove you have learnt something. But I want you to leave school and be like yeah I did learn something useful that I will use in the future. I don't want you leaving thinking about why we spend a whole year learning about how boys can go wild on an island and end up eating each other! But I want you to be ready for the world and for life. Knowledge makes you powerful not money, I want you all to have power, so you can lead the next generation and the world to be better. So darlings do I have your attention and are we going to work together?!"

"YES" Everyone replied, they were alert and awake now. Eager faces were intently watching Mr. Bane and I was among all the admirers. We had never had a teacher quite like this, everyone was stunned by his words and I was inspired.

Maia rolled her head to me, eyes wide, "O...M...G" she mouthed. I agreed with her could this guy just not get any better?!

#

"Alec can I speak to you?" Mr. Bane called to me after the lesson had ended, "Just quickly it won't take long." Everyone was filling out and I had just packed up, slowly I nodded.

Maia winked at me and skipped out of the classroom, "Bye Mr. B, see ya later Alec." Her voice childlike and full of glee.

"Mr. B, well that sounds good and makes me feel old, I already have a nickname and I've only been teaching for 1 hour." Mr. Bane chortled, I let myself laugh a bit, not sure really what to do.

"Oh that's just Maia she always gives everything nicknames, I was blue eyes to her for most of year 7 but then she learnt my name and then shortened that, and I guess it just stuck."

"Wait so Alec is short for something…let me see the register…ohh so Alexander Lightwood is your full name." My knees trembled as he pronounced my name rolling it out, "So I guess you are confused at why I kept you back Alexander, well your old teacher told me how you are a talented student and your grades really impress me. The Head told me about you."

I stopped fidgeting, oh no, he didn't know about my sickness did he, great just great, I was going to be sympathised at and looked at like a weak little boy…not in front of him.

"He said you are an outstanding pupil and that you might be a bit higher than your class, and I agree, but he also said you don't really talk much in class. You're more open to the people closest to you. And sometimes the teachers find it hard to connect with you, now I know you might think this isn't my business so I'm proposing something." I sighed inwardly, that was close, but what was he talking about, I know I wasn't an open book but I was a shy person,

"You love writing right? So I was thinking that you could be set different work to the others that challenge you and allow you to express yourself? And then after I can go over it with you and I was even thinking about starting a kind of English support group" He looked at me with interest

"I suppose it wouldn't hurt…I mean I'm not sure." I replied,

"Please", Mr. Bane puckered, he really wanted me to do it, and I really couldn't say no to that face…

"Ok I'll do it" I agreed_, At least I could see more of him …_I mean I guess I would just suffer and tolerate being around him.

"Great! Ok right so I want to study the character Holden and why he makes the choices he does. Also how he might relate to you. Got that down…good, well hon you are free to go." He gave me a wink and I stumbled out towards the door,

"Thanks Mr. Bane…Bye…" I stuttered,

His eyes danced with amusement as I hurried out, not wanting to make a fool of myself. I even thought I heard him say something but it was very quiet, something like "See ya gorgeous"

Ok I was so getting ahead of myself. I ran to my next class not wanting to get even more mixed up with reality and my daydreams…

#

"Ohhh so how was it?" Isabelle asked hopping down into the seat next to me in the cafeteria. The place was crammed with people and I had just managed to grab a table for us to eat.

"How was what?" I asked trying to sound innocent and cool, she could not know I had a thing for the new teacher.

"Don't play dumb with me Alexander! The new teacher deeeer, everyone is talking about how cool he was today!" She was bouncing, literally up and down in her seat.

"Why does Isabelle look like a dog jumping for its food?" Simon slid opposite us followed by Maia and Jordan.

"Ugh grow up Simon, I'm just interested in what Alec has to say about Mr. Daaam!" Isabelle countered back,

"IKR! He has the looks girl!" Maia giggled, then reminded by the loud cough from her boyfriend next to her, quickly added, "But of course no one beats my man"

Jordan grinned like a fool, and Simon rolled his eyes.

"He is something though don't you think Alec?" Maia asked,

"Well I mean yeah like he is I suppose good, well different than other teachers." I shrugged, scratching my neck, wow now I can't even talk about him without getting flustered.

"So…why did he call you back after class" Maia questioned and raised her eyebrows.

"Ehh…HE CALLED YOU BACK!" Isabelle exclaimed, shouting across the whole cafeteria.

"Hey be quiet! It's no biggie! He just wanted to talk…" I stammered

"_Talk _suure so what did you _talk_ about then huh." Isabelle smirked,

"He just wanted to talk to me about work and stuff and he offered to do extra things with me, like different work from the class…" This was bad, Isabelle always knew when I was lying.

"Extra things mmmmmmhmmmm…Is that so then why you two were laughing, it seems you are already quite close… " Maia eyed me, even Simon and Jordan looked at me differently.

"WHAT! I'm not lying, he just knows I'm better at English than any of my other subjects and we weren't laughing…" OH no they were working it out! This was getting out of hand.

At that moment Clary and Jace popped down next to me. Great…

"What's up? Why is everyone looking at Alec, and why is he bright red…" Clary piped,

"We heard Isabelle's voice from the other side of the cafeteria…"

"Nothing we were just talking about nonsense…So are you signing up for the play then" I tried to act casual and took a sip of my drink. Big mistake…

"Alec has the hots for Mr. Bane, the new English teacher."


	3. Chapter 3

# Chapter 3

_**Hey guys thank you so much for the reviews they really help me write the story! Here's the next chapter! Enjoy!**_

I never really got to reflect on what happened next after that, just snippets, like how Isabelle's white Hollister cameo blouse got a purple, dark stain of Ribena down the front, and how I ran Olympic gold round the whole school, trying to escape the wrath of Isabelle chasing me in stilettos, while of course Jace cackled, rolling on the floor like a hyena. However thankfully I was only teased rarely after that and then finally it was only Maia's constant torment I had to deal with in English classes.

Until a few weeks later I was suddenly in a situation, I suppose for other people it would be awkward but for me it was not. We had started working on this year's play, and I hadn't been too thrilled about doing it because my experience before hadn't been exactly fun.

Unless you find washing peoples sweaty costumes, and getting sent on errands for those uptight students who think that because they got a main part of Annie or Danny Zuko they are the next Hollywood A list actors, is entertaining then please enlighten me on what I'm missing out on. I did last year manage to land a role, one of the Jets on West Side Story, unfortunately it succeeded in getting me banned from the stage. Some silly reason about my legs being too long and the regretful accident of my high jump leap; which was supposed to be one of the things the Jets did… lots and lots of jumping, and it accidentally managed to knock Jonathan Morgenstern flat out.

He's been out to get me ever since, the occasional bump in the shoulder when I walk past but otherwise not much. But I have a feeling he has something planned.

My mother had written countless letters to the Hodge the head, accusing him about taking my opportunities away and blah blah blah…how the doctors had told us I needed something constructive and productive to do. Hodge did give in eventually – but I think he was just tired about my mother being on his case- he granted me access to be on the crew of the next play but not any big promises of myself receiving a role.

So the situation, it started last period of English Mr. Bane made an announcement,

"So my petals, I have just been informed that I will be directing this Year's play of Twelfth Night and I am of need of help! The play is not going to be an ordinary Shakespearian play and I really want some of your youthful ideas. So, first before I put the sign-up sheet for the crew out. I wanted to ask my special AS class first if any of you want to be involved. My first need is a co-director…any of you up for it?!"

Now in that moment I don't know really what happened, I saw hands fly up and Camille Belcourt the biggest bitch in the universe, with a capital B, whisper loudly bragging behind me about how her father's friend was a director and had directed the Harry Potter movies and that she had been to the studios and knew everything about directing so had the job in the bag.

This strangely had quite an effect on me, unconsciously I had raised my hand and I didn't know this but Maia informed me later that I was half on and half off my desk shouting something on the lines of it was a dream of mine and that I really wanted this more than my life. The whole class was silent after my outburst, and I was like a statue my face rising with heat. Mr. Bane had slowly turned his head and was looking at me like I had grown two heads, Maia's mouth was hanging wide open and Camille was smirking like a sly fox. The silence was long and enduring until finally Mr. Bane cracked a smile and cheered like a crazy fan gone wild,

"I think someone wants the job. Sold to the blue eyed boy by the window! I'm glad you are excited Alexander, I can't wait to work with you. Now class there are still more places for other roles so please sign up!" Everyone rushed towards the front crowding his desk, Mr. Bane had a happy look on his face he stood by my desk out the way for the ruffle of hands trying to sign up, he looked at me his eyes strangely sparkling? Why was he happy? I felt the corners of my mouth lift it was nice to see him happy...

Subconsciously I touched my mouth, Mr. Bane saw and chuckled and leant down to whisper to me, "You shouldn't cover up your smile its beautiful."

#

The whole way home I couldn't stop smiling, and everyone noticed,

"Why are you smiling like a paedophile…you look creepy?!" Jace snorted as we drove home in the car, "Did you get a question right in English or something and did Mr. B praise you?"

I scowled at him however my cheeks gave me away and reddened.

"OMG that's why your smiling because you got a question right?! Seriously!" Isabelle looked up from her phone, leaning over her face right next to my head rest.

"NO...I'm not that weird. I just got a part in the play that's all." I bit my lip.

"OH the play that Mr. _Someone_ is directing. I see you Alec…getting close…" Isabelle was grinning like a fool.

"I'm not getting close…I just am…" My voice cut off as we rolled into my little brothers Max's school.

Max stood on the pavement reading his manga book, glasses right on his nose, his brown locks messy up on his head. Jace beeped the horn,

"Get in Kiddo", He yelled

"Jace! Don't be rude…" I snapped, "Hey there Maxy how was your day?" I said in a gentler tone swivelling to face him.

"Oh it was great! I won the art competition! It was awesome! The teacher gave me a prize…" He started rambling, going off onto another thing, I rested my head back and closed my eyes. Isabelle laughed at what Max said and Jace started joking about, playfully mocking Max. I loved them, each of them...together.

This was peaceful bliss; all smiles; all love; all happy; perfect family? …

#

"Well let's start the meeting shall we!" Mr. Bane called out,

I looked behind me to the empty space of vacant seats, Mr. Bane laughed,

"Oh looks like _it's just the two of us…" _He sang the familiar tune of Bill Withers song that automatically played in my head,

"Well then Alexander I'm glad you decided to join in on the fun! Honestly I was surprised when you suddenly put yourself forward like that…"

"Sorry, I know there are probably better people than me…I can just go if yo-"

"NO! It's a good surprise, don't say that I know you will be the perfect man for the job! So I was thinking about this play we could give it a modern twist like make it fit into society today so any ideas, anything! I'm all eyes and ears…" He stretched and patted his papers down, getting out a pen he clicked it open and looked up at me expectantly.

"Oh…right…um society…well I was thinking I know it's not amazing, but how about we focus on stuff in society that isn't accepted still today…So I was thinking that the two main protagonists should be gay…you know we could like bring in problems from the real world and put it in the context of the play to give the play a moral…yeah …it's a bad idea I know…sorry.", Mr Bane stared at me in wonder,

"Alexander Lightwood you are IGENIOUS! This is amazing! What do you mean it's a bad idea?" He jumped out of his seat and to my disbelief lifted me up and swung me round the room, "I could kiss you right now…" He stopped spinning and placed my feet back on the ground, I felt light-headed and gripped the table for support.

"You ok?" Mr Bane asked concern rising in his eyes as he placed his hand gently on my arm,

"Yeah sorry just a bit dizzy, I didn't mean to- I mean I'm sorry…"

I didn't know why I was apologizing,

"Why do you do that Alexander? Put yourself down, you always apologise, you don't think I've noticed…You always put others before yourself…" His tone became serious, "In class it's like you hide away when I pick on you, but you're different in your writing, more alive I can see you, everything about you, right there." Mr Bane was reaching into me, lifting me out but I was confused so confused…

"I need to go, I just remembered I have to pick my brother up, thank you, I'm sorry bye…" I hastily grabbed my bag,

"Alexander, please stop. Come Back. Don't Run!" Mr Bane called after me.

I couldn't it was too much, I had to go run, anywhere, dashing to my car I hurriedly started it and pulled out of the parking lot, the sky was dark and the street lamps were flickering. But in the midst of the night I could make out a figure of a man running down the steps coming to halt at the bottom, staring at me. I saw him, Mr. Bane look at me but he didn't see me look at him.

#

I was 8 when I was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukaemia, I missed a lot of school, spending most of my time in hospital. My parents were distraught, they looked at different protocols of a clinical trial that I joined and did everything they could to help me. I had chemotherapy and it was exhausting hours of surgery made me sick especially because I was so young. I missed everything about school and I was confined in my small hospital room though all the staff were nice, I was missing out on being a normal kid. As I grew older I was in angry, I didn't know why my parents fought. They didn't even notice Max and that he was dyslexic, I was taking away their attention from their own children focusing it on me. I was selfish.

Then later when I was 16 I begged to stay in school to just focus myself on something else. My parents were angry they wanted me to get better not worse. But they didn't understand all isolation was unbearable, I can never let people close, never be loved by anyone…never

This was my bane I would carry on my own…I couldn't let anyone be hurt by me ever…

#

**_*I Just Wanna Run- The Downtown Fiction*_**

_I just wanna run, hide it away  
Run because they're chasing me down  
I just wanna run, throw it away  
Run before they're finding me out  
I just wanna run_

I just wanna run  
I'm out here all alone  
I try to call your house  
Can't reach you on the phone  
I'll gather up the nerve  
I'm packing up my bag  
It's more than you deserve  
Don't treat me like a drag

I'm feelin' like I keep on talking  
I'm repeating  
Myself, my words lost all meaning  
I keep talking  
I repeat myself

I just wanna run, hide it away  
Run because they're chasing me down  
I just wanna run, throw it away  
Run before they're finding me out  
I just wanna run (run, run, run)  
I just wanna run (run, run, run)

Like a game of chess  
I predict your move  
I think I know you better  
Better than you do  
I'm sick of feeling cheap  
Cheated and abused  
Sick of losing sleep  
Thinking about you

I'm feelin' like I keep on talking  
I'm repeating  
Myself, my words lost all meaning  
I keep talking  
I repeat myself

I just wanna run, hide it away  
Run because they're chasing me down  
I just wanna run, throw it away  
Run before they're finding me out  
I just wanna run (run, run, run)  
I just wanna run (run, run, run)  
Throw it away

I just wanna run, hide it away  
Run because they're chasing me down  
I just want to run, throw it away  
Run before they're finding me out (out, out)  
I just wanna run (just wanna run, just wanna run)  
I just wanna run hide it away  
Run because they're chasing me down  
I just wanna run throw it away  
Run before they're finding me out  
I just wanna run (run, run, run)  
I just wanna run (won't finding me out, won't finding me out)  
I just wanna run

**_Hey guys hoped you liked it! Just added in one of my fav songs at the end hehe...I will try and keep up posting but I have my exams soon so please bear with ! thxx_**


	4. Chapter 4

# Chapter 4

**_Hey sorry its been a while! I've been studying! I hope you like this chapter though!_ _R&R please! Thank you ma sweets! _**

"Alec! Where have you been?"

Isabelle…Just when I wanted to run upstairs and lock myself in my room, she had caught me in the act of trying to quietly come in without making a sound and shut the front door. She was sitting in a chair right in front of the door, arms cross and a deep frown on her face.

"Oh hi Isabelle…I was taking a run." I was _so_ bad at lying, I reminded myself to grab some tips from Jace when I next see him as I sighed and slopped down on the stairs. "Fine, I was with Mr. Bane…wait not like that, I was with Mr. Bane and we were having a meeting for the school production but I had one of my panic attacks again"

Isabelle gave me a sympathetic look and wrapped her arms around me.

"Oh Alec why didn't you call me. I could've come and get you." She stroked my head and squeezed me tight. "You know I said you should call me if it happens."

I exhaled, "I know I will but I think I just needed to be on my own for a bit."

"What happened?" She whispered, her breath in my ear,

"I just got too overwhelmed and my…feelings got caught up…Izzy I don't want to hurt anyone…ever."

"Alec don't say that! We've been through this you are not a problem! You are everything to us and you aren't breaking us!" Isabelle grabbed my face, forcing me to look into her soft green eyes, "We love you and could never ask for anyone else to be a better brother than you!"

We stayed like that hugging each other, until Jace came down and ruined it,

"What a tender moment, brother and sister bonding moment, any room for me. You can't leave me out! We're a trio, we always do stuff together I'm Harry but hotter, Alec's Ron but has darker hair and Isabelle's Hermione but a sluttier version; don't give me that look…guys."

#

I crept into class exactly at 8:30, Mr. Bane's back turned away from my burning head as I squeezed through the midst of eyes and desks. Maia gave me a questionable stare as I sat down. I crossed my head, and gave her the -I'll-tell-you-about-it-later look. When Mr. Bane had finally finished writing on the board he slowly turned, eyes strangely glum? He looked deflated and tired, dark rings under his eyes. He glanced at my seat then did a double-take-back…as he noticed my presence his eyes lifted a bit but I avoided his surprised gaze. He cleared his throat remembering he had about 19 other students in the class waiting for him to speak,

"Nice of you to join us Alexander. Ok today we will be starting our projects, the title is My Story, you will be writing about your life, your feelings; all about you. This will be worth your final course work, I want to get to know you in this piece. Like in 'Catcher in the Rye' I want to understand your thoughts and view on life. You will be working on this until the end of the year, there will be an essay, presentation and one piece that will be expected of you. I know you all have a lot of commitments but you will have lesson time to do it too, so don't waste the time I'm giving you."

The room buzzed, as my class mates chatted animatedly about the new project, I admit I was excited but another part of me was terrified about Mr. Bane finding out all about me. Maia gave me a worried look,

"You ok? You weren't in for two days and you were late coming in. Nothing wrong right? I mean it wasn't something to do with your health…?"

"No don't worry I just had a cold nothing bad", I lied giving her a reassuring smile.

My life had been filled with lies, fake smiles, and fake words. I was used to it, lies came easy for me. People were always asking, some would say 'Are you ok?' I'd always reply 'I'm just fine 'and others would ask 'how are your family?' and I would reply 'they're just fine.'

But really we were a complete mess, it became easier though as I became older, because Jace and Isabelle were older too. Older to look after me, allowing my mum and dad to work, I had to plead my mum to go back to work, she was reluctant, I knew she loved her job but I just didn't want to burden her anymore. I didn't want to burden anyone. I knew I couldn't continue lying, but sometimes the truth hurt.

Mr. Bane called me back; I was so close just one more step and I would've been out but one of my legs was inside, the other outside. I turned my head, he was watching me, studying me his eyes narrowed as if he was trying to figure me out. I walked back and stood awkwardly in front of his desk, when everyone had left he spoke softly,

"Sit", my heart pumped hard, the effect he had on me was quite extreme, I knew this was coming but I was so not ready, what do I say? What do I do? Should I just lie?!

He shut the door as the last dawdlers slipped out the door, turning to me he grabbed a chair from the nearest desk and placed it in front of mine, he sat with the back facing me and his legs either side of it. Crossing his arms over the top of the chair he said,

"I want you to be truthful with me Alexander, no wait….don't speak, I want you to know you can trust me and that you don't have to be afraid anymore. You need to understand that I'm a friend here, for the past months I've worked here all I've been doing is trying to understand you. You make it hard for me, but I'm not like other teachers, I'm not here to make you get good grades. I'm here for you to talk, to let your feelings out. Please Alexander."

I opened my mouth, but I couldn't speak, all the lies I was going to say were swallowed. I was tongue tied. What I did next surprised me, Hell it even surprised Mr. Bane, and I had never done this in front of everyone, ever…I cried.

Tears ran down my face, I let it out, and then he was there. His arms around me, his voice soothing in my ear, his skin warm against mine. I sank into him, all my feelings were flooding out like a Monsoon. But instead of falling, or breaking I was being lifted by one person, carried away from my peril.

"I've got you, I've got you. I'm here let it out." The words echoed in my ear, his breath hot against my ear. We were kneeling on the floor, entwined in each other's embrace. As I drew back, he pulled something out of his pocket, a hanky. He gently dried my sore eyes, stroking my hair as he did. I was admiring his face, his high structured cheekbones defined his golden skin tone. His black eye liner with a hint of gold glitter, brought out his enigmatic eyes, I was captivated by him. He chuckled,

"You stopped crying."

I blushed hard realising his eyes now stared straight into mine, we were close. So I stood up straight, a little too quickly and sat down on the chair. Mr. Bane almost looked sad that I had moved away, but I ignored it probably imagined it anyway.

"Sorry you had to see that. Um I've never done that in front of anyone even my own siblings." I paused hesitating, "T-thank you."

He smiled and sat up on the edge of his chair leaning over he said,

"Alexander I know I don't know your whole story; you know I was debating about looking up your school files, but don't worry I didn't!" He quickly added, "I want to hear it from you, even if you think you are not ready I know you are. All the time you've been at this school you have hidden, I purposely gave the class this project because I was selfish, wanting to know more about you. Yes, Alexander this project is for you. "

I was shocked, he wanted to know more about me, ME, I buried my fear and bravely said,

"I think I'm ready. I want you to know more about me, but please you have to be patient with me, I've never done anything like this, opened up to anyone."

Magnus put his arms on my shoulders,

"Take all the time you need, I'll wait for you Alexander, I promise."

#

Since then I had been really focused on the project and the school play. It was hard getting the two done, but Mr. Bane had been a great help. It was then, when I found myself sitting with him outside on the school field, I forgot I didn't even know his name. I mean I had dreams of this guy but I had always referred to him as Mr. Bane or Mr. B or God of all Hotties but no one needed to know that.

"Um I know it's not my place, I was wondering um whatsyourname? I mean you don't have to tell me but you said your different to the other teachers a-a-a a friend? I call my friends by their first name but you don't hav-"

I was rambling, Mr. Bane chuckled,

"It's fine Alexander, I have been meaning to tell you I know it's not what other teachers want but I want you to know it and call me by it because it might help our relationship. Since we are outside and not in the hearing distance, I'll tell you. Also I want you to cool me this ok! When we are alone though! It's Magnus Bane."

Magnus, Maguns, Magnus...

"Perfect," I put a hand over my mouth, eyes big, "I mean like it suits you..." I could never act normal round him, but his name suited him well. It was so magical and different, I loved it.

- I mean Magnus smiled at me,

"You are quite something Alexander, most people would have laughed, think it's weird but you." He shook his head and bent it back down to his work.

We had finished the script of the play and were know focusing on blockings and stage directions, Mr- Magnus was doing most of the work as I wasn't amazing at it but I helped him sort out the scripts, I was admiring him as he lay across the grass like a god dam model, thinking how perfect he was,

"Alexander," His voice lulled, "It's rude to stare" His gaze met mine and I looked away my hands shaking.

"Sorry, um just staring into space, hehe you know didn't realise I was staring at you"

I was mortified, crap I was normally good at lying but now after Mr. Bane I was so bad.

"You know you suck at lying now." He read my mind, "Look I know it's not right for me to say this but I was thinking about that night and abo-"He was cut off short by Maia,

She came bumbling over and stretched down next to us,

"There you guys are! Hey Mr. B everyone is going to be at the meeting today, I managed to get Clary and her art class to do the set for the play and Simon and his music class to do the music for it! I cannot wait I mean this is going to be the best play yet! It's so modern and from what I've seen so unique! Oh did I interrupt you two…" She looked between Magnus' raised eyebrows and my deep frown.

"Oh no honey it's fine, um that's great I knew I could count on you! We've finished the script and everything. We ought to go anyway, come Alexander, I'll talk to you later about what I was going to say." He added, giving me a wink before packing the sheets up.

I sighed, and helped, I was so close to finding out what he was going to say! But I guess he could tell me later, I smiled to myself another night with him. Realising what I just thought, I shook my head in a flurry, I really did need to sort myself out.

As we walked across the field we saw a hurrying figure run towards us, it was a blur of red long hair, as Clary came over, she was out of breath her green eyes wide with fear.

"You have to come quick! Alec! Its Jace! Please Jonathan and him are fighting about something and Isabelle's there too and she's hurt you have to come NOW! Mr. Bane please-"

I had already started sprinting, as soon as I had heard Jace, Jonathan and Isabelle! This was bad very bad, I heard Magnus screaming my name but I ran my family was in trouble I had to help them.

_**Haha left you on a cliffy! Hoped you liked the chapter! Please comment I really like your feedback it helps me write and I really do take on board what you say!- A**_


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